As I try to move on?

My stomach still does flips when I see a picture of you.

As much as I wished you didn’t look good in that blue shirt…

Ooo honey I want to go swimming in that shirt and you.

But as you lay confused in the middle of the road, I try to move on, as I do not have time to wait and hope you get it together.

By you not making a decision, you are making the choice to lose me instead of exploring what could be amazing.

As I try to get over you.

The anticipation that I might see you builds, and then is met with relief and disappointment when you’re not there.

I really don’t know how to act around you as one part of me wants to be your friend, but the other part wants to rip your clothes off in the middle of this room

As I try to get over you.

My heart breaks moment by moment

Piece by piece

As I realize my feelings ran or run deeper than the river you wrote about in that note to me.

I am left wondering, why not me?

What was it about me?

But maybe it wasn’t me.

It was you

As I leave and pack up the space where our feelings were kept,I break down and cry

Wishing this journey didn’t end with a fork in the middle of it where I had to decide to leave the possibility of the greatness of you and I for the reality that may never be me that you choose once you get it together.

I am more than a supporting actress in your rom com.

I am directing my own life movie

And right now you are being recast.

As I try to get over you.