My love for you is unpredictable as Chicago weather.
Sometimes I look forward to seeing you, and sometimes I can’t wait to move away.
I talk about you like summer as the best thing, but then get mad when you repeat the same blizzard year after year.
I remember the good times of Super Bowls and Championships.
But forget the 108 years of heartache.
I eat you up like pizza and Garret’s popcorn.
But hate that you never put spices on anything. Like ever.
I wish I could always run on the lake path of your heart.
Instead of fearing that I’ll slip on black ice.
I should probably move to LA, but LA doesn’t have your heart and spirit.
LA is too predictable.
And maybe I like Chicago weather.
I wish she wasn’t a trigger
I wish every time I saw her I don’t imagine her death
I wish I could I admit that I was in love with you
Instead of high five you for your latest conquest
I wish you choose me…every time
And not only because I’m present
I wish Father Time stopped playing games
I wish we stopped playing games.
I hate that I love you
And that I compare every man to you.
I hate being in love with the idea of you
Instead of the actual you.
I hate that you don’t have your shit together
I wish you had your shit together
I wish when you do, that you’ll choose me
I hate that I know you won’t
And that you’ll choose another her
That her type is the prize
And that I’ll never be.
To My Body:
I am sorry. Sorry for treating you like you didn’t matter or that you were less then. You didn’t deserve it.
Your only goal was to protect my mind and heart, and what I gave you in return was talk down to you, try to destroy you, and put you through pain.
I can continue to tell you how sorry I am, but this you already know. I will instead thank you for all that you’ve done.
Body…thank you for protecting me from the outside world and taking in the battle scars.
Body…thank you carrying my emotional baggage. I am ok now, and It’s ok to let go.
Body…thank you for providing me strength to keep going even when I didn’t want to.
Thank you for being you. I promise to treat you as the queen you are.