Body Positivity

A Short Letter to My Body.

/ Maria Konopken / Leave a comment

To My Body:

I am sorry. Sorry for treating you like you didn’t matter or that you were less then. You didn’t deserve it.

Your only goal was to protect my mind and heart, and what I gave you in return was talk down to you, try to destroy you, and put you through pain.

I can continue to tell you how sorry I am, but this you already know. I will instead thank you for all that you’ve done.

Body…thank you for protecting me from the outside world and taking in the battle scars.

Body…thank you carrying my emotional baggage. I am ok now, and It’s ok to let go.

Body…thank you for providing me strength to keep going even when I didn’t want to.

Thank you for being you. I promise to treat you as the queen you are.

Love,

Me

My Shield

/ Maria Konopken / Leave a comment

When I step on the scale
I try to play tricks
If I stand on one foot
If I stand on the side

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll weigh less
Maybe, just maybe, that number will validate me
Maybe, just maybe, I’ll feel better

About the shield of a body that has few protective layers
Layers that make it the strongest, yet weakest
This imperfectly, perfect body of mine

This layer for when I was bigger than all the girls in my class
This layer for when I wasn’t Mexican or White enough to sit or play with you
This layer for when my boyfriend didn’t take no for an answer
And I confused it for love
And this layer for the self-hate I tell myself in my darkest moments
Yet, smile through

It’s a shield that brings people in, but stops them from getting too close
But then gets mad when the boy I’m dating stops calling, gets engaged, and has a baby by a woman out of no where

It’s the loneliest of shields
But sometimes it can be the best of shields
This imperfectly, perfect body of mine

I’ll never not be the bigger girl
But I got hair and body that many pay millions to a plastic surgeon for
The scars on my knee from two knee surgery
Show my warrior spirit
The nose I got from the Queen of my Nana, that I once called a witch nose
Show the spirts that guide me

And this butt of mine
I’ll sometimes catch it in a mirror and ask myself
“Girl, have you been doing squats?”

The shield of my body
Has a few colorful layers
That make it weak and strong

This layer can talk to anyone
This layer loves the sound of her feet when she runs
This layer got herself a Masters degree
This layer moved across the country with a home or a job for the dream of laughs

My shield, while dented and imperfectly perfect, is the only shield I got
And while I’ll pick and tear it a part
Shows my journey more than any number on scale will

This shield of mine has protective and color layers
Imperfectly, Perfect
Strong and weak

This shield is me.

 

 

An Ode to My Butt: A Poem

/ Maria Konopken / Leave a comment

We are not always the kindest to ourselves. I know such a hot take. And we can sit here and compare who is worse to their bodies, but that wouldn’t be productive now would it? All I know is how I feel about mine, especially now. I am currently at the heaviest I have ever been…give or take 10lbs. It really sucks because I run everyday, eat mostly right, but mother nature and some lovely medication keep the weight everywhere I don’t want it to be.

So sometimes it’s really hard to love your body in a state you don’t always like. And sometimes, you just got to shout it so you believe it. We are blessed with our bodies and a short time to enjoy them. I am preaching to myself, but I want to celebrate our beautiful bodies and I don’t really care if you don’t like it.

Below is a video from a show I did called Sex Positive. It’s one of my favorite shows in the city, and I am honored I got to share my piece on this stage.