heartbreak

Snapshot of Heartbreak Told in 5 Parts

/ Maria Konopken / Leave a comment

Part 1

And in that moment,
I knew everything changed
A “one time thing”
Would lead to patterns of more
If I let it.
That my voice would continued to be silenced if I continued my pattern.
I decided to let go
As being selfish was needed
As the ultimate act of self care.

Part 2

I miss you most on rainy days
As the rain washes away all
Except you.

Part 3

I sometimes wish your soul was who I thought you actually were.
Perhaps it would hurt less to know that you believed you made a mistake instead of blaming me.
Maybe then I would stop thinking about you as often.

Part 4

It hit me on my walk home tonight
That I’m chasing a ghost of who
I would like you to be
But not how you are.
I’m chasing a hope of potential
And not the reality that is you now
And while love is worth taking a risk on
I worry the risk and reward won’t match
That you have such a hard bar to jump
Over the bar I set
That you’ll never reach it
I don’t know if anyone could
For I put expectations on you
That you are not aware ever existed
No wonder you disappoint me.
You never had a chance.

Part 5

I release you into the wild
With only but our memories remain
I am sorry I couldn’t be the pedestal
In which you thought I owned
But I am sorry you never got to know the real me.

Supporting Actress

/ Maria Konopken / 2 Comments

As I try to move on?

My stomach still does flips when I see a picture of you.

As much as I wished you didn’t look good in that blue shirt…

Ooo honey I want to go swimming in that shirt and you.

But as you lay confused in the middle of the road, I try to move on, as I do not have time to wait and hope you get it together.

By you not making a decision, you are making the choice to lose me instead of exploring what could be amazing.

As I try to get over you.

The anticipation that I might see you builds, and then is met with relief and disappointment when you’re not there.

I really don’t know how to act around you as one part of me wants to be your friend, but the other part wants to rip your clothes off in the middle of this room

As I try to get over you.

My heart breaks moment by moment

Piece by piece

As I realize my feelings ran or run deeper than the river you wrote about in that note to me.

I am left wondering, why not me?

What was it about me?

But maybe it wasn’t me.

It was you

As I leave and pack up the space where our feelings were kept,I break down and cry

Wishing this journey didn’t end with a fork in the middle of it where I had to decide to leave the possibility of the greatness of you and I for the reality that may never be me that you choose once you get it together.

I am more than a supporting actress in your rom com.

I am directing my own life movie

And right now you are being recast.

As I try to get over you.